Reading the Subtitles
Foreign movies with subtitles are an acquired taste, but with maturity such movies become most enjoyable. The subtitles allow those with some degree of hearing loss to “catch” all the dialogue. In truth, some of us turn the subtitles on when watching films in English, especially British or Australian movies in which the actors speak with a strong accent.
At the Welcome Center at Cross Keys Village, we often hear a certain line of dialogue, and even though our visitors say it in English, we can see subtitles lighting up at the bottom of an imaginary screen. The spoken sentence is: “We don’t want to be a burden on our children.” Of course no one intends or wishes to be a burden on a grown child, who has his or her own family, numerous responsibilities and a busy life… but there is more to it than this.
The first subtitle that comes along with this sentence is I do not want my child or my child’s spouse to see me in a frail or dependent state. It is common in some societies to count on children to help, if the time ever comes, with what we euphemistically call Activities of Daily Living. In German Pennsylvania and in most of Protestant America, however, it is usually seen by parents as something to avoid. Paid professional caregivers are hired instead by many families.
The second subtitle that comes along with this sentence is I prefer to make my own choice. This is an essential second layer of meaning within the “burden on my children” expression. “I have made my choices so far in life. Some were good choices, some were not so good, but I learned from them. I am not eager to relinquish my decision-making to offspring who, devoted as they may be, might not see all the options from my unique point of view.”
One of the best decisions you can make if you don’t want to be a burden on your children and if you prefer to make your own choices is to find out about Continuing Care Retirement Communities. In a vibrant community like Cross Keys Village, there may even be a classic movie series! This way you can experience, along with other enthusiasts, the usefulness and the subtleties of subtitles.